Karen's my pattern girl!

Okay, finally i have a picture! There was much rejoicing. From me.

So check it out. Karen drew that picture when she was four. Two months shy of five years old. She was a preschooler. The draftsmanship is very good for that age group, but that's not what interests me. The subject matter is, in my experience, very unusual. Karen was showing us her early childhood art, and there is pictures of flowers, people, dogs... but there's just as many pictures of round balls with a pattern of straight and squiggly lines in them or identical flowers all in a row. Karen was fascinated as a young child by patterns. But this one's even cooler.

So what pattern do we see here, class? Besides the obvious "four by six rectangles". After the __more__ i talk more about it.
___more___

totally exciting news

Exciting news? Not really. I don't even have a picture today, because i dropped my camera and the memory card must have popped out on the sidewalk somewhere. Gotta look for it... tomorrow. But something in Grand Rapids catapulted our sleepy little conservative town to the "in other news" section of sites as important as cnn.com! For real! A helicopter crashed on the top of the hospital where all three of our kids were born! I sure am glad we didn't have them born here at home, because i don't think our house could survive a helicopter crashing into it.

I guess it was during a safety inspection flight. An onlooker saw the helicopter "wobbling around" before landing. My unreasonably high level of expertise in helicopters might recognize that as something to do with ground effect feedback or something. Helicopters have had automatic feedback canceling mechanisms since the technology became mature, so who knows what happened. But nobody died. I wonder if the pilot will pass his safety inspection. Our electricity was turned off for a couple hours too. Scary times.

Watch Dogg!

Today, for the second time, i was a Watch D.O.G.® for Houston's school. Since i usually work with, you know, teenage sex offenders for whom intensive outpatient groups aren't good enough, being around normal kids was really good. So much energy! And yet cooperation!!! Can you believe it? I hardly can.

But as i'm tired, i'm going to go to bed and be awake tomorrow.

Happy Memorial Day!

Karen's brother is in the Army. I have thought a little bit about joining up, because with our incredible money-stretching skill, even the meager salary an educated Army person makes would seem positively Gatesian. But then, i'd have to spend a lot of time away from my family. And we'd need to move. Not okay. But the armed services of every country needs conscientious, peace loving people in their ranks. I could be a chaplain. Or a motivational speaker. Drill sargent...

If you're like me, you're constantly looking for ways to impress everyone around you. Here's a good one, appropriate to the season of warming-up, when flies come out of their overwintered frozen egg state. Yech.

Find a fly sitting somewhere. Clap about six inches directly above the fly. It will startle, and leap up right between your hands. If your clap isn't overly rough, the fly won't leak any of that mayonnaise stuff, and will still be wiggling around, but unable to fly. Then, pick it up between your thumb and finger. I grab them by the wing. Then, hold the fly casually behind your back. Approach someone, move your eyes around like you're tracking a buzzing fly, then suddenly flinch out with the hand that already has a fly in it, and then show your slightly worried friend the fly you just grabbed out of thin air.

It works on socially stunted teenagers.

So... much... food...

Karen's grandparents have been married for 65 years. We joined most of their family for a celebration, and i think we all ate too much food. Plus, i'm really tired. So i'm going to go to bed. Next time i make cinnamon rolls, i'll write down the recipe. They're really good. I should start a bakery.

And, Karen's grandparents are really interesting, fun people to talk with. Her whole family is really good to be around. Good people.

And the shirt Katrina's wearing was made in Ecuador!!! Isn't that great? That's where i was born! I'm glad i was born!

Okay, that was good.

Yes, Houston took his first autonomous bike ride today. With Karen stuck at a random quinceanera party to photograph. So, after Houston confirmed that his skill at riding scooters (the aluminum kind with little wheels, which he's been balancing on since last summer) transitioned to larger two-wheeled vehicles, we filmed some more stuff to put in reverse. Of course, the three children couldn't stay still long enough to do anything which reversed well, so please enjoy three clips of me doing stuff. The first one features Katrina saying (in reverse) "You blew [the bubble] bigger than JESUS!!!" and me saying "Oh yeah?" and Houston exclaiming "That's impossible!!!" The squealing and hooting in the first part of that scene sounds quite frightening and unearthly in reverse, huh?

And to sum up, it's my dad's birthday! He hates his birthday, but i hope it's happy. And Karen and i are watching a two hour VHS tape we took of ourselves being dorks back when we just started going out. Quoting Star Trek! Telling jokes with no punch lines! Giving lame guitar lessons!!! And all that was me. Karen sat there looking cute and giggling. No, you may not see the tape.

Sharp knives and sea salt...

Yesterday i cut myself chopping onions at work. Incidentally, everyone makes fun of the way i say "onion". I think it's because i say "onion" with equal emphasis on both syllables, with both O's using the same phoneme. Not "ON-yin". So i've been wondering if sharp knives really are safer. And based on the fact that i've cut myself twice in exactly the same place twice in two weeks, i'd have to say yes, sharp knives are safer. Both times, i was cutting the last quarter of an onion, and the knife slid off the shoulder of the onion and sliced my left middle finger. The last time, i actually could feel the knife edge scraping my fingernail. Gross.

So that old adage of food professionals is something i now agree with. However, the sea salt thing i don't get. And i haven't gotten a good answer. Sea salt comes from oceans where billions of people's sewage and industrial waste and pollution are dumped and distributed. So why should it be healthier or more nutritious than salt deposited millions of years ago? And what the crap is up with Kashi brand stuff containing "evaporated cane juice crystals"??? I feel horribly insulted just reading that on a label. "Evaporated cane juice crystals" is precisely this: SUGAR!!!

The kids are hooked.

Today when i got back from picking Houston up, Karen was asleep, so i kept the kids all outside. Corbyn wanted to go into the house and use the computer, but in order to distract him from the lure of pirated music, i said i'd give him a super-slow ride up and down the sidewalk. Well... i don't know what's up with that, but Corbyn was hollering in fear every time i, you know... sped up. Seriously, i was going so slow that Katrina and Houston were keeping up on foot. Funny kid.

So then, i let Houston sit on the back of the scooter. Zane climbed up in front of me. I convinced Katrina to squish herself in between me and Zane. And then, we all putted up and down the sidewalk at quick walking pace! Family transportation, third world style! Totally awesome. Of course, here in the irrationally risk-phobic USA, we all have to be "belted" in to our "fully enclosed vehicle" with "more than two wheels" so it "can stop without falling over". Jeez.

Cute kids!

Karen is nursing a minor case of bronchiangisal tuberculositis (or whatever), as well as all three kids while i was at work this morning. So i left her at home with her echoing coughs and The Office, and i hope she feels better! Poor girl! The kids and i went to a t-ball practice which was either extremely esoteric and post-modern, or it was canceled. Or never scheduled, which is most likely. So we played at the park, and then ate gross fast food.

Houston is into having deep conversations now. Today we discussed how McDonalds food is low quality, unhealthy and disgusting, full of sugar, fat and salt. However, they have fun play areas and toys you can get with your food. They do this mostly to get children to love going to McDonalds. That way (i told him) when kids grow up and have money, they'll keep spending it at McDonalds. Shrewd corporate practices are definitely something i want my children to be aware of. And i want to be aware of myself, because they sure are shrewd.

Chillin' with my homies

Houston and Katrina and Zane are my homies, see. And Karen, but... we'll get to that.

Today when i got home, Katrina said "Daddy! We need to go somewhere without Momma, because she doesn't feel very good." I thought that was really a funny thing to say, but she was fundamentally right. Karen has been coughing and almost keeling over with lots of near-death coughing. So we went to the mall where we spent absolutely no money (YES!!!) and then went to a park where we played at perhaps 10% of the speed of light, and then ate our picnic. Usually, eating is a well distracted, prolonged affair with lots of food dropping and not empty plates. But at the park, even the white bread and ham sandwiches were gone in seconds. Seriously. It's nice to let the kids distract themselves from being very hungry until they will eat almost everything.

Zane surprised me by eating lots of salsa on his corn chips. Except he thinks corn chips are supposed to be spoons, so he wanted to double dip, but the grosser way where you don't even eat the chip, you just make it soggy and white with your saliva first. And the salsa isn't really hot (by Moore House standards) but it has, like, five large jalapeño peppers in it for about a half-gallon total.

Reverse!!!

Everything is better when you do it backwards!!! The audio from this features our very good friend Beth saying "I'm so cute! I'm so cute! Props to the grill!" which compares favorably on the nonsense scale to many current pop songs. My lip gloss be cool, my lip gloss be poppin' indeed. Beth is going to hate me for making all of you listen to this song. Even if it's just one person. Cackle cackle, evil laugh.

Garden!

If you told me a year ago that we'd be planting a vegetable garden next to our house, i would have scoffed! Actually, Karen did tell me that last year, and i was too polite to scoff, i guess... but it was under three tons of shingles. And shadowed enthusiastically by our gigantic hedge. But today, thanks to Karen's persistence of vision (that link has nothing to do with "setting goals and achieving them") we actually got it done! Complete with tomato plants! And zucchini and yellow squash, which i hope do their thing. Zucchini especially, are supposed to be very prolific.

I like vegetables. Karen's awesome.

Oh, and when we were moving the van into the garage from the back yard because the stupid neighborhood inspector Decreed it Against Code my brother in law Eric said that he saw showers of sparks from the wires where the garage door and extension cord are all plugged in. I had never seen sparks from those wires. Now usually when Eric and i see things differently (like politics and whether 0.999 repeating equals 1.0) i just pretend in the comfort of my mind that he's delusional. But with electricity and sparks... i kept it in mind. And today while i was sawing poles for the garden, the wires must have melted. So... um... Eric's not delusional! Hi Eric!

Graham

Our dog. He's the oldest member of our family besides Karen and me, and he's arguably the least demanding of our time and resources, but he gets no respect sometimes. So maybe a post about him would be nice. Because, when it comes down to it, he is a good dog.

Today after work, and after the family got back from a very entertaining (i'm told) kite festival, Karen went upstairs and collapsed from Full Time Mothering Exhaustion Syndrome (otherwise known as "I'm just going to read for a couple minutes") i played with the kids after they played with the computers. Webkinz. Well, Graham has this rope toy. He loves playing tug-of-war with it. I like grabbing it while he's chewing vigorously, and sneaking my fingers between his teeth. I don't know how Graham does it, but he NEVER bites me on accident. It's like magic. Even the growling and fierce head shakes don't indicate an actual bad mood on his part -- his tail is wagging away. But his playing can get wild, and his claws are scratchy and not very carefully wielded (as are his teeth), so it makes me a little nervous when Katrina or Zane grabs for the rope toy. Today, Katrina came up and put her hand on the toy, and Graham eased up remarkably when she did. She got it away from him without any sneaky tricks like i have to use, and as she held it above her head, ready to throw it for him to retrieve, he simply pranced about and yipped. For reference, when i hold it to throw, he attacks me and my arm with pounces and flappy-jawed biting kind of things. I was impressed. Graham is totally gentle with Zane, even when Zane's pulling his ears and poking his eyeballs. Sometimes Graham sits on the couch while Zane is hassling him, and Graham will whine, and look at Karen or me with these huge, imploring eyes, like "Please! Make it stop!!!" We're always tell him "Uh, you don't have to stay there."

He's a good dog.

Katrina's short dress.

This morning, as i was cooking home fries and chopping vegetables for salsa, Katrina asked me to help her get dressed. Hmm... she's been dressing herself for over a year now, i think, so i told her she could do it herself, and opened the gate to the upstairs so she could do her thing. She came down, excited to be wearing that blue dress. "Daddy!" she said, "I'm so happy that I can wear this dress! I thought it would be too small for me!"

I wasn't about to tell her that sweetie, it's small for you. So i just did up the buttons, straining the fabric around her chest, and asked her if she could breathe. "Sometimes," she declared.

Yes We Can!

As the above picture obviously proves, we got to see Obama IN PERSON today! Isn't that picture awesome? Obama is the one who's not a pixelated blob version of a lady in a green blouse.

So we were there when John Edwards pitched in his endorsement for the, um, upstart senator from Illinois. Karen and i have thought for a long time that the platforms of Obama and Edwards match very well, so Edwards should be Obama's choice for VP. Having a nice white boy from the South as a running mate for the Scary Black Man would help as well. But that seems unlikely, since Obama, as a peace maker, would need an "attack dog" for his vice president. According to the political analysts, at least.

The "Yes We Can!" title of this post refers to the fact that Karen and i took the scooter downtown to the event. I have to say that for a little 50cc motor and the hills we encountered, the scooter did fantastically well. The little thing weighs almost exactly 200 pounds, and is rated to carry a 200 pound person. I weigh 200 pounds. But the scooter yessed it could up those hills, carrying both of us, and handled extremely well. I'm so proud. I'm also so happy that we could have such a prominent pair of politicians (who we happen to find ourselves excited about supporting) so close to us that we could zip down there in five or ten minutes! Seriously, i bet people drove in from Chicago and Detroit and farther away just for this event! I feel so fortunate to have been there!

After the rally, Karen and i scooted between cars and over sidewalks and through crowds of irate, flailing pedestrians to get out of the worst of the congestion, and then looked for the best way to get to some fast food restaurant, because we were starving. As we were at McDonalds -- topping off our evening of idealistic political fervor with hideous blobs of processed American grease food -- we tried to remember the last time we'd been on a date. It was before our friends Keith and Karla moved away, because they watched our kids. That was over a year ago. So we decided that we should write an advice column about how to help your budget:

"Instead of going out with your spouse every week, go out only once per year. And go to a free event. And get items from the dollar menu at McDonalds. Oh, and ride together on a 50cc scooter." Oh jeez we are poor. Poor but happy.

Obama's coming to the Raggidy!

The presumptive Democratic candidate for the US presidency and the presumptive next US president is coming to town! Here! In little West Michigan! Where our vote in the primary election didn't even count at all! Isn't that cool? Yeah, Karen and i are really excited. We're going to go see him if we possibly can. We might even take the scooter.

Everybody knows we like Obama. I think Karen has generally considered herself a Republican leaning independent, and i've been most interested in the Libertarian Socialist political beliefs, which is a kind of gentle anarchism. Of course, my weirdo political ideal couldn't come about until we eliminate scarcity and figure out a better way to keep people from hurting each other. So i'm an independent too, since there isn't any such thing as the Anarchist National Committee. The very term is nonsense.

But we're quite firmly behind this Democrat. There might be difficult issues, like his stance on abortion (which flooded my little weblog with dozens of words when i posted about it), but even there, he speaks with sensitivity and integrity, while polemicists on both sides blast away. Really what's got me so excited about this election is that for the first time, i feel like one of the candidates is not playing politics as usual. Hilary's using exaggerations and statistics to bolster her importance. McCain is full of bluster and proud patriotism. All politicians i can think of have displayed the same kind of tricks. They're obviously tricks, but we will ourselves to fall for them. And then get grumpy when we discover we've been manipulated. But i get the sense that Obama is genuinely different. And i earnestly hope that this isn't the best political sleight-of-hand ever.

2012 shall tell.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

It's Mother's Day!

Today when i got up with the kids, i made sure to make it obvious that this was a Big Day for Momma. So as soon as Karen came downstairs, both of the kids leaped up and said "Happy Mother's Day!" I think Karen was happy. Then we had her favorite Sunday morning breakfast, Jiffy corn bread made in a pre-heated cast iron pan. With Karo dark corn syrup. Then we went to church and learned that the word "comfort" in the Hebrew scriptures shares a root with the word "womb". I thought of the word we toss about most frequently which shares a root with the Latin word for womb: hysterical. Um... we learned other stuff too. In fact, the womb thing was kind of a throwaway comment.

So it's Mother's Day. Awesome. My mother -- she's been patient and wise with her family even now. Karen -- she's such a loving, nurturing, steady mother to Houston Katrina and Zane. It's very fun to watch her do her thing around here. If we could figure out how to make mothers be in charge of world affairs, i think we'd all be way way way better off. Except for mothers who would be okay with obliterating Iran. Not those ones.

Happy Mother's Day, Karen and Mum! And Mom! And the rest of you awesome mothers in the world!

Saturday

Karen's camera is a SLR, which means that the bright sunlight zooming (as both particles and waves) into the viewfinder ricochets all around the pentaprism, onto the pellicle mirror, and some of it probability-wave-collapses onto the image sensor. I searched and searched for a good explanation as to why light striking anything is actually a probability wave collapse, but maybe i'm just completely full of crap. Something to do with the double-slit experiment.

And that's why that picture is hazy. Karen's camera does have a lever which puts a shutter over the viewfinder for those arm's length self portraits.

Houston had t-ball. We ate ice cream. Katrina put on a dress, a floppy straw hat, carried a phone and a hairbrush, and put on glow in the dark Harry Potter glasses, and declared herself a "little grown up mom". The phone and hairbrush were specifically what sold the illusion, according to her. Houston was dressed like a robber. I think he might have already stolen my heart.

Sir Economixalot

Here's a little snapshot of where stuff is at right now. For posterity.

Oh! I have good news! You know how i got a promotion* at work, and am now a "Senior Youth Treatment Specialist"? Well, i got another spromotion, so now i'm a Shift Supervisor. Oh yeah, baby. I'll be raking in the extra dollar per day. Okay, maybe two. But seriously, every PENNY counts.

*I suppose getting these other jobs are promotions. I've never thought of them that way. I never ever ever wanted to be a shift supervisor, since with the headaches and responsibilities comes almost no extra benefits besides the thirty cent (i think) per hour pay raise. Plus, the job i do is extremely hard anyway, and i do it extremely well. So adding job duties like pulling meds and directing the shift are actually taking away from what i do best -- interacting with the kids and teaching healthier responses to everyday situations. Plus, among my numerous irrational fears is fear of the Peter Principle.

And that's what the snapshot is about. Gas is getting very close to $4.00 per gallon. Food is getting more expensive by the week. Last year a 2 liter bottle of pop was $1.49 at the grocery store. Now it's $1.79 regular price. But some variety of diet caffeinated beverage is always on sale, so we're jittery, not zombie...y. One of the main reasons i've been pursuing promotions at work is the pay raises. But the pay raise is pathetic compared to the increased cost of everything. So, i was wondering, what are people spending less on?

We're spending less on:

• Diapers. We're doing the cloth tri-fold thing, even eschewing baby wipes for damp cloths. Boy, can those baby wipes get caught in your teeth. Because we're esch... eschew... nevermind. I'm so embarrassed. Anyway, that's one cost GONE! We're even going to start line-drying them when it warms up some.
• Gas. I'm driving the scooter every chance i get (when i need to go somewhere anyway). And even though it gets ~60mpg when being thrashed, i'm now slipstreaming traffic any chance i get, and taking it very easy on the throttle. Unless there's a carful of cute girls to do a wheelie for. Also, i'm driving the car as though applying the brakes dumps massive amounts of energy into the atmosphere. Which is precisely true, by the way. Your velocity is kinetic energy, and when you use your brakes to slow down, the friction material heats up the rotors or drums, which dump that heat energy to the air. Don't brake unless you... you know... need to. Which happens a lot.
• Electricity. We've been -- get this -- turning our computers off. And we've got fluorescent bulbs in most of our fixtures.
• Food. We've been eating a lot of potatoes, rice, and homemade bread. Well... naan. The good thing is that our family really likes those things, especially heaped with ketchup. And soup. I'm still waiting for the kids to really get into soup.

It always annoyed Karen and i that the money-saving tips in magazines are either utterly useless, or we've already been doing for years. Like... skip the alcoholic drinks when you go out to eat. Um, thanks. That will save us dozens of imaginary dollars.

But it's kind of neat to see the kinds of things we can do to stay barely solvent. And it gives me a noble sense of solidarity with the massive majority of the population to now be joining in the mass of humanity, washing baby poop out by hand and eating mostly cheap starchy foods, and driving a tiny 2 stroke motorcycle.

More law abiding children

The law of gravity, that is. Last week, i think it was, Zane fell down the stairs. It was sad. Today, Houston fell down the stairs. Seriously fell down the stairs. He's okay, in fact, i don't think i told Karen yet, but it was totally amazing. I was wiping off the table or something, and heard Houston coming down the stairs, and slip and go "Whoooo!!!"

And then i saw him, perhaps a foot off the stairs, head down, feet straight up in the air, arms spayed out sideways, cartwheeling down at a parabolic trajectory. He was rotating, so by the time he intersected with our house, he had turned feet down and then some, so he crunched into the floor mostly on his side. He wailed amazingly, told me "Daddy!!!! I did a somersault when I was falling down the stairs!" He could wiggle all his appendages, so i picked him up and cuddled him as he gulped and gasped and hollered. But then he got over his fear, and stopped. Karen (actually, uh, Karen was there) told him that she thought from the sound of it, he had fallen down the stairs and slammed, face first, into the closed gate at the bottom. Houston laughed.

Plus, then i went to work, where we went to Young Life Club, and had a flour war. I got lots of flower on me.

Zane, the great getter alonger

Today i was delighted to watch Houston and Zane playing a recently developed game which involves Houston throwing a blanket over his head and letting Zane tackle him. Either that, or letting Zane fling himself onto said blanket, and then Houston will drag him around while he squeals in glee.

Katrina and him played Ring Around the Rosie, involving Katrina doing the chant, and Zane kind of deciding randomly that this is the moment where we all fall down, and Katrina attempting somehow to fit it into the rhyme.

I think the attraction of playing with Zane is that he really does laugh his little belly laugh no matter what antics the other kids pull. "He rolled a ball to me!!! Ha ha ha ha ha, clap clap clap!!!" He's so cute and funny!

Houston's book!

Here's the pages.

Awesome. I love it so much. "A BOOK OF CARS". "SUM CARS OR BIG", featuring a car with U.S.A. on the side. So excellent and appropriate. "SUM CARS OR SMOL", "SAM CARS OR LOGN", "SUM CARS OR SHORT", "the eNd".

The End.

My day off!

Today while we were dancing, i told the kids to "do the robot" and i demonstrated. Houston and Katrina roboted for a moment, but then Houston disappeared and Katrina moved on. Houston came back with a piece of paper saying "Can you make this a box?" and i didn't know what he meant, but i did fold it twice into a kind of square C shape. He disappeared again, and returned like this. Okay, totally awesome.

Then Katrina asked for three pieces of tape, and returned with a book, complete with illustrations, obviously, and scribbles of "text". Houston, however, wrote his own book, which i LOVE LOVE LOVE. I really need to scan that thing in. I'll do it tomorrow.

Then we went to Katrina's dancing class, which she loved. She loves dancing. She's started asking to dance, even when we're, like, in the back yard away from music and near dog poop.

Third...

Okay, i hate it when all day i think about stuff to write for my weblog, and by the time i get home it's gone. My muse isn't a... heh... amusing me. That wasn't funny.

So: quick rundown. The kids woke up at the Time of the Beast, which is close enough to 6:66AM, like, 6:30. That's early. Then we went to Houston's t-ball game. I'm glad he's an excellent batter. I don't think his ego would survive the kind of spectacle some of the kids put on -- swinging nearly a dozen times... missing every time... And it seems like the coaches like him. They're always giving him high-fives and stuff. Um... they give high fives to all the kids. But with Houston, they're higher. And finally, he's getting kind of the point of the game.

I rode my scooter to work again, my second time this year. Last year, i really enjoyed zooming about, using the full-throttle or full-brake* technique. But that got me about 60MPG last year, and with gas being as expensive as it is, i'm actually starting to drive my scooter mildly. I suppose that's marginally safer, but i imagine i'll be able to get closer to 80MPG if i simply don't drive as harshly.

*Full-throttle means "not accelerating as much as a smoking handicapped lady in a Mercury Villager minivan", however, with big sticky tires and dual disk brakes, full-brake is as impressive as most anything on the road.

Happy Birthday Karen!!!

It's Karen's birthday!!! She's awesome. Karen's been alive for 9,225 days. We've been married 3,635 days. I've known Karen for about four years longer than that, which means... i've known her for HALF HER LIFE!!! Wow!

On my birthday, Karen wrote an amazing post... thirty six things she likes about me. But recently, i have NOT been happy with my ability to string words together. Except that post about why i'm a bleeding heart liberal. And i wrote a progress note on one of the kids from work: "Bartholomew followed all expectations today besides the one which goes 'Stay in school and don't yell at people while throwing vacuum cleaners at staff'. He didn't follow that rule."

So i'll write about why i'm thankful for Karen. I love Karen's sense of humor. She likes Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side. She's smart. She's an amazing mother. She does such a good job guiding Houston and Katrina and Zane, teaching them good ways to behave with incredible consistency. Her vibrant interest in other people is just one of the things which comes through so obviously in her excellent photography. Seriously, she's an astonishing artist with the camera. All you gotta do, say the photography neophyte, is point your device at something pretty. But she's got an eye for composition, color, movement, um... poise and balance, effervescence and foundation. Yeah, i'm being stupid now. And she can draw! She'll claim she can't, but she can. Her drawings are so so so so so cute. Seriously.

Our TV is almost never on. I am so thankful to Karen for that. Television is (to probably misquote Beth who correctly quoted someone else) a vast wasteland which exists purely to corrupt your mind into a life of financial servitude to multinational corporations. But not in my house, thanks to Karen. Except she's not as cynical as me, so she probably wouldn't misquote Beth in exactly the same way. Karen loves Christ! For real! And yet she asks questions, while we're having our private conversations. How do we KNOW that our God is THE God? Why did God command the Israelites to do such horrible things? Karen has horror stories of her early days learning Christian doctrine from her catechism teacher who told Karen, basically, to stop asking questions. Yes, (Karen might have (mis-) quoted, had Mystery Men been a movie at the time) let's all be good little automatons and believe every little thing we hear. Movies. Karen and i like the same kinds of movies. Mystery Men is just one of them.

The things about Karen which most mystify me are those things which i simply cannot do, and yet she does with apparent ease. Like, organizing stuff. I pretend sometimes that i don't even care about organizing, or try to organize, but that's only partly true. Organization really does seem like a violation of the laws of the universe to me. I mean, why shouldn't entropy govern my living space as it governs... you know... outer space? I will always accumulate possessions (like mail, burned CDs, receipts, random bits of electronics, wires) and my living space doesn't get any bigger, therefore, there will never be enough room for it to exist without being chaos. But Karen's desk is, and i'm not making this up -- i can see it from where i'm sitting -- tidy. Okay, there are some drawings and a library book, but that's not actual mess. I have a marker with no lid, a bit of copper pipe, a candle, an obsolete ribbon cable, two bottles of fabric paint, felt feet for legs of chairs... and i haven't opened my drawers yet. But Karen not only knows where everything is, it's actually got a place where it belongs.

I'm so thankful that Karen loves me, and stays organized with (or at least near) me, is the best mom for our kids i could hope for, she's funny, smart, cute, and as our excellent aggregate driving safety record unequivocally demonstrates, she's a safe vehicle operator.