Zane is still one...

Zane is one right now, but tomorrow he'll be two! Two! And we've got a ton of stuff to do before the parties. I should go to bed so i can be extra extra helpful tomorrow. Extra!

It's hot!

It's hot today! Hot is good; but bad is the blueberry farm being CLOSED! Tragedy! I would have fallen on my knees and cried "DO NOT WANT!" But i didn't, since i was driving.

Arthropod Moore

Y'know Grizzly Adams? The ruggedly handsome, impressively bewhiskered protagonist of the eponymous TV show? (I enjoyed writing that sentence fragment.) He could somehow communicate with animals, especially vicious carnivores like the grizzly bear. Good for him, not getting eaten. I've mentioned before my love of bugs, but still haven't come up with a good, cool sounding nickname. Buggy Moore? Juanito the Bug Man? Creepy Juan?

Anyway, here's a story about a ant-mimicking baby jumping spider i saw today. It came tinily across the table to my elbow, which it immediately climbed. It climbed eagerly up my arm, having some trouble with my watch and the gigantic (to it) forest of hair covering my forearm, and then got onto my hand. It kept going up, up UP!!! no matter how i moved. It was singular of purpose. So, my 2mm friend reached the tip of my middle finger. It then hunkered down, butt in the air, and spun a web of silk into the almost still air, got enough out, and then jumped off! He floated away, and probably landed in the dirt ten feet away, but still, he flew! I did resist the urge to say "FLY, SPIDER! FLY!!!"

And Karen was talking to Beth today on the phone, and i heard her say "Egh, a SPIDER was CRAWLING on me!" Then, a few minutes later, she slammed her hand onto the table and said "GOTCHA!!!" I thought, very privately, "Oh! Poor spider." But Karen paused her phone conversation, and told me "It was a mosquito i squished, not the spider." Aww, Karen understands me! And still loves me!!!

Sunday

Zane noticed me taking pictures of Houston and Katrina, so he wanted to get in on the action. Except he stood perfectly still, and twisted his one foot around like that. And wouldn't look at me. What a cutie. And he's getting an actual personality. So awesome.

I don't think i've mentioned that Zane has started talking now. Mostly it's just names and nouns, but when he adds it to sign language, he does an excellent job of expressing himself. He wanted his blanket the other day. He walked up to Karen, put his fists under his chin, which means "blanket", and said "Momma, Momma"' in his high pitched little plaintive way. His non-verbals -- so expressive. And Zane says "No no no no no no no", not in a stereotypical terrible twos snap, but with a pitiful, singsong cadence. "Oh, that would be so sad if that happened!" Usually, this is for things like "Please don't wipe my diaper rash with those moist towelettes of agony."

Motorcycles! And scooters!

WARNING: After you've been married for fourteen years, your spouse somehow develops armor against your most eager showing off moments. Like that stoppie. Karen inexplicably didn't swoon or anything. Wha-???

I guess she likes pictures where i look like this more than the ones where i look like a daredevil.

My friend (the one with the ULTRA RAD chickens) bought a motorcycle. It's Chinese... and it's not very good. It keeps breaking down on him. I feel really bad for him. Enough to write a :( thing. And people i drive by on my scooter often ask how much i paid, how fast, gas mileage... and often they look at me funny when i say that i paid $1,500 for it used. A guy i talked to today said "But what about those ones you can get new for $800?" Well, i've heard that with those ultra cheap Chinese scooters, you can expect to drive one mile per dollar you spent buying it before it breaks, possibly permanently. Plus, if you buy from the cheapest of Chinese companies, you're likely supporting child slave labor. And that's bad. Not in a sarcastic Emperor Cuzco "And that's..... bad...." way; seriously, that's bad.

So, with that in mind, and since other friends are contemplating buying a motorcycle or scooter, please allow me to make some recommendations. If you're interested in a scooter, perhaps the cheapest one i'd recommend new is an ETon -- they are Chinese, but a reputable Chinese company with actual dealers. A little higher up would be the Kymco company. Kymco is a Taiwanese company, and are really good. I recommend the Super-9, which is a cute little firecracker of a scooter. If you're going to drop more money, buy a Yamaha C3 or Zuma, because they're amazing. A Honda Ruckus will make you happy as long as you don't want things like "storage" or "speed".

And of course, if you're buying a used scooter, get an Aprilia!

Finally, if you want a proper motorcycle, this seems like a very good choice. Hyosung is a Korean brand, so i've got some fondness in my heart for any of their products. Or you could go with a Honda VTR 250 or a Kawasaki 250. They're astonishingly good, and cheap... ish... used.

So anyway, it's late and i want to watch a video with Karen, so i'm going to quit writing about motorcycles now. Yeah.

Jumping spider mating song...

The jumping spider is probably my favorite spider. They're probably the only spider whose face could ever be considered "cute". They've got big forward facing eyes, and have nicely compact heads, and sometimes really cute patterns in their fur. And they're never gangly or gigantic. I mean, check out this cutie. Awww! She even has eyelashes!

So please, give spiders the honor and respect they deserve!

Wordle

That's a thing Karen found. You can try it yourself on your webpages or whatever. And let me tell you how hard it was for me not to remove the gigantic word "REALLY". Like, for really-o, can't i come up with some other words? I mean, really. At least i don't call everything "nice". Or, like, say "like" all the time.

The big news otherwise is that Houston's fish died today. It was somewhat sad.

But then, we went to see "Professor Anson Pantz", who was this odd grownup man who had a put-on Russian accent, and sang an ambiguously time signiatured song "My Brother Eats Bugs". Then, he talked about "bugs", which the correctist in me wants to say "Bugs are only insects with specialized sucking mouth parts!" but i suppose if i'm talking about a "true bug", which the oddly Russian prof mentioned once, i will say "true bug" or "bug bug". Maybe i'll even not correct people when they say spiders are bugs. It will hurt a little every time, but i'll try.

So anyway, the professor was, evidently, an educated entomologist. And he was enthusiastic. But the weird accent and slightly scary clothes... i think kids might have responded to his love of bugs without the clown pants or the gigantic eyeglasses frames. He did do an awesome job explaining things like spiracles and exoskeletons and making it very accessible for kids. Especially, as Karen just said, for kids who're more of the ENTERTAIN ME mindset. Our kids were a little put off. They might have been more entertained, perhaps, by a slideshow or nature video of insects and spiders and so on.

Houston the tricksta

I don't know why Houston decides it's so important to do tricks on his bicycle. When i was a kid, i never learned to do fishtail-skids (because my first bicycle was so cheap it didn't even have a coaster brake -- the rear sprocket was simply bolted to the wheel) or wheelies, let alone stand on the seat.

Today Houston crashed like three times because he was trying to ride no handed.

I think he's learned tricks from watching stunt videos on YouTube. Or at least he's learned how important it is to do tricks from those videos. On the other hand, he wouldn't let Junior (that black haired kid) ride his bike unless he'd agree to wear Houston's helmet.

Oh! Karen reminded me just now that we ate dinner over at Christian's house, because he invited us to over in the comment section... and besides being delicious food and entertaining company, we got to pet chickens! I like chickens. I like arthropods as well, like bugs and insects and spiders, but chickens are really really cool too. I think my love for odd creatures is kind of my... i dunno, way of worshiping God. That earwig (for instance) is really interesting, the way it is meticulously cleaning its antennae, and God made it, and praise God!!! Hey! If you ever hold a chicken, move them up and down -- their heads stay still as much as they can. It's really funny.

And speaking of insects; today i saw a big ant walking around, looking kind of awkward. It seemed to be holding a smaller ant in its jaws. I picked it up for a closer look, and the bigger ant had a little ant clamped onto one of its antennae, and the larger ant had done her best to remove it. So the littler ant had been kind of chewed in half, but it was still mostly alive, and clamped onto the antenna. I called Houston over for a look, and explained what it was. When he figured out that the littler ant was dying, he burst into tears. I put the ants down, and tried to comfort Houston. He said "It's just so sad!" He recovered, and then got nose down to the dirt, found the two ants (!!!) and carefully took the mostly dead ant off of the bigger one's antenna. Then Katrina squished it. Haha, just kidding, but she almost did.

Pictures

That scooter is a Honda Ruckus. They're really cool -- a complete departure from typical scooter design. The unfortunate thing is that there's no waterproof storage. But really, that's the best picture i got during the scooter ride yesterday. But, i wanted to make better friends with all the people from the scooter club, so i also made this cool picture. Cool, huh?

Scooter Ride!!!

The first bit of the day was cool, because i got to watch my kids.

Then i met some people from a local scooter fan forum, and we drove our scooters to Muskegon, which is about 50 miles away. It was really awesome! Like, as cool as a LAN party, but without the caffeine overload and the dark room filled with computers. More like a rainy road filled with scooters. The people are almost exactly as geeky, too! Like, i had one of the guys ride my scooter, and he agreed with me that i need a new transmission belt, and the guy's house we were at said, "Hey, I have one right here that'll fit your bike! You can have it!" Yeah, that's how they are.

But then i worked, which was mostly great, until right after i was supposed to be going home, and a kid flipped out and we had to restrain him and deal with his horrifying acting out for an hour and a half. Sigh. So all the pictures i took of the scooterists are on my camera, out in the garage, and there's no way i'm going out there to get it. And Karen's been working on awesome stuff for the car rides we've got coming up, and i can't even be as enthusiastic as it deserves, because all i wanna do is shoot chickens.

Cute Houston!

Cute!!! I've been resisting the idea of Houston getting a haircut -- i really like the blond surfer mop thing he's got going on. But even i, fan of long funny hair, had to admit that his hair was getting ridiculous. So today Karen cut it. It's very very cute.

I want to share, with you, part of a phone call i had to make today. Our phones don't work. Our DSL works, which is how you're reading this website. So i had to call AT&T's tech support. First, there was a computer telling me to say stuff into the phone. "Are You Having Problems With Your Voice Telephone Service?!" (artificially expectant pause while i say "...yes...") (more pause) (um...?) "Okay! I See That You're Calling From Phone Number Blah Blah! Is This Correct!?" (expectant pause while i say "Katrina, here's some underwear for you to wear... on the floor... right there.) "I'm Sorry, I Didn't Get That! Would You Repeat Your Answer!?"

Finally, the canned voice said with a self flagellating apologetic tone that he was too stupid to talk to me, and sent me to a blessed button pushing menu. Still: "Does your telephone have a dial tone?" No. "Are you calling from this telephone line?" Uh, if i could make calls, i would probably have a dial tone? No. "Is this problem affecting all the phones in your house?" Oh, i get it. You're weeding out people who are so crippled by the thought of troubleshooting that they can't even think of trying a different phone if the one they can reach from the couch isn't working. I'm sorry, was that mean?

Anyway, Houston's short hair is really cute, thanks to Karen and the fact that Houston's really cute anyway. Zane spoke several new words today. I'm getting to take the scooter on a rally tomorrow! Yay! I'll take pictures.

back to work

I totally loved being off work these last four days. Well, three and a half.

My "new job" is that of shift supervisor, which is exactly what my old job was, but now i've got more responsibility and $0.30 per hour more, or something like that. I've been a shift supe for... a month or two? The SS is basically the manager of the team for the time he or she is around -- Karen became a shift supervisor within a year of getting hired at Wedgwood. I've always resisted the idea of signing up for the job which i always thought i would do worse that the basic job i've always had, which is to hang out with the kids and be a good role model. It turns out, however, that i'm really good at the stuff i always used to hate! Medication pulling and passing is totally a cinch. I can do it with perfect accuracy in, like, five minutes. Confronting staff when necessary hasn't been troublesome. Holding everyone to the schedule is totally fine. It's good. So now i wonder, could i do any jobs higher up in the agency? I mean, i have always wanted to be a teacher (except during those moments when i was needing to decide on a major for college), but the schooling is vastly too expensive for us at this point. And i've got kids who are, you know, learning to swim and talk and stuff, and i don't want to miss that stuff either.

Yeah, check out Karen's weblog. Zane is verbal. He's saying stuff. Awesome. And Katrina swam yesterday and today. Excellent.

That was a nice siesta

Okay, sorry about the TWO WHOLE DAYS of not posting! Karen did it too! Don't blame me! I WAS CONFUSED!!!

Right. So here's some stuff we did. I was sitting on the couch reading a book. Katrina came bounding out of some room somewhere wearing just her underwear. I think she was going to play dress-up, which is her perpetual favorite game. She saw me look up from my book, smile, and she struck a cute, girlish pose and made the most enormous, raucous snort through her nose. She then laughed and ran back from whence she came. So she's the cutest little girl in the universe, but she's utterly silly, and it is possible to take not very good pictures of her.

Zane loves to cook. Whenever someone is preparing food, he'll be right there next to us, even if there's a kids video being shown in the other room. Usually he's something of a hassle, pointing at razor sharp knives, eating slices of raw potato, taking snoops out of whatever bowl happens to be within reach, MMM-ing at boiling hot pans... but yesterday he stood on his ladder peeling garlic and an onion. The garlic peeling was actually very useful, but the onion peeling project continued until there wasn't any onion left. He spent about almost half an hour absorbed in the process. I think he'd be happy being a head chef. I mean, the dude loves my split pea soup, so his taste is quite sophisticated. Plus, he's a total show off.

HOUSTON CAN SWIM!!! Today and yesterday he was face down in the water, kicking his legs, and even flipping his arms over his head doing a six-year-old novice approximation of the front crawl! Good job, Houston! He also made me a mailbox with these letters inside: "LOVE.LOVE.LOVE (drawing of BERRY GUM)"; "Wen Dads a prezidint I feingkc [think] he wel be a grat prezint"; "Wen I wakc up I wont to pla with Dad. FUN!"; "Dad is fun to pla wif bkcus he is just fun"; "LOVE Dady a lot. I hop your day is fun. I love you. So i hope your day is speshl." It is so nice for him to write things like that and not immediately say "Uh, can I borrow the minivan?"

Me? Mostly i avoided cleaning the house by watching movies like Hot Fuzz, and 300. Hot Fuzz was quite alright, and 300 was certainly visually rich, but... well, i'm a pacifist. I just deleted a few more sentences about that, because i don't want to derail my whole post.

Us? Every event of Karen visiting Beth (oh -- i forgot to mention that i sent Karen out of the house for a day or two so she could RELAX. She went over to Beth's house where they had pillow fights and played truth or dare or whatever).... i'll start over. Every event of the past two days was overshadowed by BLUEBERRY PICKING!!!! I ripped a little hole in the waterproof floor of our utterly amazing tent, so i needed to get some really good duct tape to fix it. On the way to the really-good-duct-tape-store, we decided to see if the our favorite blueberry patch is letting people pick yet, and they are! They are they are they are! Yesterday was the SECOND DAY!!! So i am set for the rest of the season. I'll be sneaking out during quiet time, after dark, before anyone is up in the morning, and mostly during the day when the kids can come with me.

Usually, i'm late to the blueberry picking season, so i miss the first variety. Not this year. This year i'll be able to sample every single variety they grow. It could be my blank blueberry palate, but these early berries seemed spicier, with an almost apple-like overtone. Of course, each bush and each branch offers its own flavor nuance, so selecting the best mixed handful is deliciously absorbing. The ground at the berry patch was treacherous, however, and after rescuing Houston from sinking knee deep in organic-fertilizer-water (eew) and subsequently rescuing his shoe, my hand and shorts smelled, um, earthy. Um, by the way, check out a close up of Houston's face. Hee hee. But by that time we'd eaten our fill, so i got to carry almost everyone back to the car. Plus the blueberries, which were ALL picked by Houston and Katrina. The ones i picked were either eaten by me, or eaten and spilled by Zane.

WHEW!!!

The kids at work are going camping starting Monday. All of them are going. This means a couple things. First, it means that the trip will be stressful, possibly miserable for some of them, because of their dysfunctional relationships. Second, the past week has been a stressful week for me, since most of the kids are really anxious and needing a great deal of managing, sometimes holding down. That has sucked a great deal, but at least i know that i've been doing my new job very well. Like, i have had to kind of confront an, ah... prickly staff, make some tough judgment calls, and keep kids and my staff on track. It's defying the law of chaos, so it's tough. Pretty much like flying. Thirdly, and most importantly, that means i don't have to go to work until Thursday! That is so awesome! I am kind of sick of my job right now, and this little break will ROCK!!!

Coincidence... or psychic phenomenon???

We seem to go camping at least once a year with, hmm, let's call them our Camping Friends. For the last three years, it has rained. Once torrentially. This year was no exception, except there wasn't any torrents.

We camped near a little town about fifty miles north of us. There's probably a dozen campgrounds up there. A few hours after i arrived (conveniently after Karen had already gotten the tent all set up -- perfectly, i might add) the empty campsite to our left became occupied. So far, nothing too odd. Here's the odd part. Our neighbors were our neighbors. Like, if our tent had been our house, our neighbors tent would have been their house. Like, seriously, neither of us are frequent campers. We didn't plan on going to the same campground. There's probably over a hundred campsites in that campground... the odds of our pair of residences being duplicated while camping are staggeringly long. I'm sure the odds are calculable -- not by me, but i know that scientific notation would be useful. Wow.

I drove my scooter up there and and back. The ride there took nearly two hours, because of the really complicated way Google (The Allknowing) told me to go, but the way back was much shorter. Like, just over an hour. Following one road is easier than trying to take the shortest possible route, but turning the wrong way a couple times and missing turns... But Mister Scooter did admirably. One time, there was a really long downhill, and i got up to sixty miles per hour (indicated -- scooter speedometers tend to be optimistic). And the bike was rock solid. Many motorcycles and scooters get unstable and quite frightening at certain speeds, but not mine. No "headshake" or vibration or wobbling... i'm impressed.

The kids did very well. Zane made me laugh by spending the entire rainy morning wandering around, and yet not getting dirty or even very wet. Houston and Katrina played with their friends. We got to catch up with Keith and Karla. The Save-A-Lot pancake mix made the best pancakes ever, as usual. But also as usual, Karen and i are unreasonably tired. So i'm going to be a good example and go to bed. Eventually.

Hi!

There's my Katrina!

The family is camping, so i'm here trying to go to bed. Tomorrow i'm going to drive the scooter up to the campground -- that'll be fun. Bed time.

Mmmmmm... MEEH!!!

More cute stuff Zane did. Yesterday as we were having devotions around the dinner table, and we were talking about Bethlehem, Naomi's home town. Karen said "Who else was born in Bethlehem?" Pause...... "Born in Bethlehem..." and Zane hemmed for a bit, and said, excitedly, "Meeh!!!" We all laughed, and like all 2 year olds who cause laughter, he said it about seventy more times. What a cutie.

Houston and Katrina have been doing swimming lessons. They're probably going to be confident in the water, perhaps even proper swimmers before the lessons are done! That makes me happy a lot. So Houston's hair today totally looked like a beach bum surfer dude's hair. But he volunteered to have his hair cut "as short as Wyatt's", so if you're like me, you'll need to start steeling yourself right now for that change. I really really like his mop.

Final thing: i saw a roadside sign being waved about which read "$4.00 GAS FOR 4 MORE YEARS" and then "McCain" and then some smaller print. At first, i couldn't decide if it was for or against McCain, since freezing gas prices at $4.00 for four whole years would be a lot better than four more years of insane price increases. It was anti-McCain -- after looking more carefully, i saw something about Exxon and McCain being bought or whatever. So, as an Obama fan, and a bleeding heart liberal, i'm not going to defend the dude, and my RSS feeds don't have any scandalous headlines about anyone being in Big Oil's pockets. But seriously, how can we blame fuel cost increases on any one politician? Our whole way of life in America and the breakneck pace of development in the rest of the world should have been sending us hints that cost increases were coming.

It sucks to watch the buying power of your paycheck plummet. Especially when you're at borderline poverty (us) or fiscally overextended (mostly everyone in the US). But bad things are not any one politician's fault. It would make me grimly gleeful to be able to blame the Republicans or George W. for all the bad stuff that's been happening, but i can't. I can only try to live my life based on the wise words of Saturday Night Live, and noty buy stuff i cannot afford. And i'll try to vote for policymakers who recognize that we shouldn't start wars we cannot afford.

Dada!

Yesterday Zane said "Dada!" I don't remember the first time Houston said "Daddy". He said "Please may I have some milk........ Daddy?" My heart melted. Yesterday Zane said "Dada!" and right away said "Mama", so i'm pretty sure he was actually saying ME. And i don't have any idea when Katrina called me the first time. Weird. But Zane said my name!!! Kinda. :)

Zane is totally talking using sign language. Houston rode his bike down the street and almost disappeared from view. Then Zane said "MMMmmmm!" and signed "Houston gone". I said "Houston is gone?" and Zane nodded importantly.

I wonder how much of the terrible twos is simply frustration at knowing what you want to say and being totally unable to say it. At work, i've restricted kids from talking, and judging from how they react, it's really frustrating not to be able to talk. Maybe sign language will help Zane's "terrible twos" be more like "somewhat unpleasant twos". But no, he's totally always pleasant! Mostly.

More food

Today we decided to have potato skins like we had at a restaurant on our anniversary (celebration). They're halved baked potatoes with much of the pulp scooped out, filled with broccoli, bacon, onions, whatever, and cheese, then baked again. Delicious, and with a sane proportion of cheese to top it off, actually fairly balanced. We recommend them.

And it's hot today. So i was standing next to the oven, which had been on for an hour and a half, scooping very hot potato pulp out of very hot potatoes, with my shirt off my body and wrapped around my head to keep my dreads off my sweaty face. Zane was standing on our step stool next to me, eying my extremely sharp knife, the sizzling hot bacon pan, and the raw onion, each with slightly less interest than the one before. Katrina was on the step below Zane, so both of their heads came approximately to my elbow. Suddenly, Katrina was overcome with gratitude for my cooking efforts for the family, and she said "Thank you for making food, Daddy! I love you!" and then she started to kiss me. Zane, the great imitator, started kissing me too. So there i am, hot and sticky, hurrying to finish cooking, wi